CHAOS!!!!!!!!!!

It's been a month since little one entered into this world and since that day, my house has been referred to as an absolute mad house!!!  Between the never ending feeding frenzies, diaper changes, recovery, etc., it was been a bit chaotic around here.  What's funny is that taking care of the newborn has been somewhat of a breeze - it is the 2 year old that has me really running ragged and ready to pull my hair out in an instance.  Between her constant yells, tantrums, crying and not wanting to take "no" for an answer, it has been tough.  I knew going into it that it would not be easy especially with Lottie not receiving all the attention she was used to getting, but dang until you are living it, you don't actually know how hard it is!!!!  :) 

Most days, I find myself repeating these words over and over again - "T - this will not last forever, in another 2 years time, the girls will be older and you will have survived!  Hang in there.  It won't last forever!!!" Again, "It won't last forever, it will get easier!"

And to top it all off, I received a phone call from my boss wanting me to return to work next week part time.  I just had a baby!!!!!!  Unfortunately, the person we hired to replace me during my maternity leave up and quit!  Awesome!  Since then, they have not been able to fill the position.  Makes me so angry.  Not only am I so freaking tired and worn thin, I just do not feel that I am physically or emotionally ready to go back.  I am a bag of hormones right now.  But what can I do?????  I just feel so pressured and really didn't want to even think about going back to work for another 8 weeks.  Needless to say, the tears have really been streaming.

I feel so blessed for all we've been provided and thank God every day, but gosh raising a newborn, a 2 year old, having to already go back to work is just really weighing on me. Life is a little tough right now, but I know I will get through especially with the help and support of Steve by my side.  The guy has been super husband and dad these past few weeks.  I don't know how I'd get by without him.

Of course, I don't know what I would do without my girls either.............